The Day I became Attila the Hun
Have you ever had a moment in time where you were in a good mood and then it happens, a phone call or a visitor comes to see you and the next thing you know your defenses are up and you are ready to do battle?
In the heat of the moment you think to yourself, “I need to calm down” or you just may be in that state that says, “ I am going to win this no matter what”. “ You don’t know who you are messing with.”
Just lately I have really been working on myself and being conscious in the moment.
Instead of reacting, thinking and then responding. Most of the time it works for me, until that one day when………………..
The phone rang. It was a person who was providing medical care for one of my children.
Our relationship was one that had struggled ever since she came aboard. I couldn’t quite figure out what exactly it was, but our energies struggled to align and often by the time she left I felt irritated and my child was exhausted.
When the caller ID showed it was the health care woman I felt my body tense up. I thought to myself, “now what?” When I answered the phone and I heard the words “I am just calling to actually make sure that your child’s doctor’s appointment actually happened. You have dropped the ball many times before and I just want to make sure you didn’t again. Did the appointment happen?”
The next thing I knew instead of being the awesome relationship coach that I know I can be. The one who preaches; don’t buy into people’s drama. Let their stuff be their stuff and your stuff be your stuff, something strange happened and in a second, I kid you not I became a new person.
That person in the heat of the moment was none other than “Atila the Hun”.
I responded with loud sarcasm with “ of course it has what are you talking about???”
Also exactly what did you mean by “ I am always dropping the ball?” “I have done everything I am supposed to do and I can’t control insurance companies, doctor’s offices, or lab test results being given to the correct caregiver.”
As the word caregiver began to fade, something snapped inside of me and said, “remember who you are” . Strangely in that split second of a moment my calm self appeared and I found myself saying: “Look, I need to calm down, give me a minute. I took a 5 second break and so did she. She wasn’t sure what was happening.
As I counted to 5 I then knew exactly what I needed to say. I knew how I needed to behave and I knew that I needed to take the lead.
My next words surprised even me. I found myself very calmly saying, “ I realize you only want the best for my daughter, however; blaming me and trying to shame me isn’t going to get the results either of us desires. Why don’t we just focus on the solution. The solution is in the hands of the insurance agent and now this new doctor said they would send in the information. So all we can do is wait. I wish I could give you a better answer, but I can’t”.
As soon as I calmed down and took the reins of the conversation as I like to call it, the rational brain (executive brain functioning) kicked in. We were able to have a decent conversation and we ended on a good note.
How do you handle situations when emotions are high?
If you are wanting to learn more about how to take the lead, so you get better results in all of life, but especially when working with people click on the link below and become a member of my private facebook group where you will get tips on Conscious Connections that will help your relationships soar and your life to be filled with an abundance of joy, peace, love and fun! Facebook Group
You can also Download the Free Gift from the website How To Work With People When They Have Embraced A Challenging State Of Being
Or if you’re ready to find out how Conscious Connections can work for you please do book a call with me here.
